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My Broken Faith

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Disclaimers up front: This is a very personal post about how my faith has evolved over the course of our experiences with my daughter and the community she opened our eyes to.  It is by no means an indication that I am done refining these thoughts.  Imperfectness abounds in the paragraphs ahead, but no matter how personal it is I am never opposed to open discussion, it's the very thing that has gotten me this far. 4 years For four years now I have tried to write this post.  The problem is every time I would finish pages of monologue only to realize I veered off into a place that made the weeds look welcoming.  I would be unsatisfied with my theology, abandon the whole thing, consult my closest faith mentors, and start from square one.  So here we are, touching the page again, in hopes this version actually makes it out.  My intent is to write this as an autobiographical account of the last four years, what they have shown me, and how they have forever changed me.  All in h
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Can't Sit Quiet

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"Not compatible with life" ------ Disclaimer time, Disclaimer time ----------- Ok, here's your fair warning/disclaimer for this post since I am about to touch on some touchy stuff.  It is with the utmost importance that you take the things I am about to say at their face value and not to extrapolate them into the realm of inferred assumptions.  This post, in all likely hood, will come out scattered as buck shot from a shotgun, but I know the concept of what I am trying to say needs to be said.  So please, bear with me. First things first, if you're new to this blog and our story I encourage you to pause before digging deeper and  Start at the beginning (CLICK HERE)  in order to come into this post with the proper frame of context. ----------------------------------------------------------- Ok, welcome back.  I may have mentioned it in a previous blog post, and certainly if you've ever talked to me in person about our journey thus far with Abri
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A's Update 3 (1/29/14): Surgery Details

So yesterday we got more of the "nitty gritty" from the plastic surgeon on how this surgery will be going down (for those recently having our story shared with you you can do some background reading by starting at the beginning of our story  CLICKING HERE ). "How do you fix this?" So to answer that I offer a quick refresher on the issue.  An "Encephalocele" is a neural tube defect in which as the skull was forming in utero pieces of the skull failed to fuse together, in A's case, right above her nose bone.  This is one of a couple major "fuse points".  Therefore her skull was left with a hole and as the rest of her brain started forming it started pushing through the hole.  Your brain also has pockets of CSF (Cerebralspinal Fluid) to help "pad" your brain.  This hole also allowed CSF fluid to leak into the space and the combination of pushed brain matter (which becomes dysplastic, non-functioning, upon being squeezed through t
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A's Update 2 (12/24/13) - Next Surgery Planned

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CHRISTMAS EVE! It's a little surreal to think that just one year ago we were entering another Christmas with complete uncertainty when we would be able to start celebrating Christmas with a child of our own.  Yet, here we are, headed into the very next one with the most perfect child we could have ever dreamed of having: A few things have changed since the last update.  Nothing dramatic but we've nailed down an important date so that's the main reason for this update. February 5th That's it. THE day.  Abriana is scheduled to have her facial repair surgery that day and her parents couldn't possibly be experiencing a greater level of mixed emotions about it.  Sure, we all agree 100% that this is an essential surgery for her.  However, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we've selected the absolute best possible neurosurgeon and the best possible plastic surgeon for the job and no matter how many times we tell ourselves she NEEDS this
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A's Update 1 (11/7/13) - One Surgery Down

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Alright so I figured I'd finally carve out some time for a broader update for everyone since the scope of those following Abriana's story is far greater then I can possibly fathom (as indicated previously). First off I give you one of my favorite pictures.  This is Abriana holding THE dental floss.  For those who find this incredibly strange I encourage you to head back to this post where I explain the dental floss :-) The Birth Week So the last entry I had was my thank you note to everyone just a few days before we went to the hospital for our c-section.  We were scheduled for a Friday morning C-section.  So Thursday night we decided to spoil ourselves a little and head over to St. Pete and get a room in a really nice hotel overlooking the water and have a relaxing evening as our childless era came to an end.  This was an amazing idea.  The hotel was perfect, the rooftop restaurant was fantastic, the food was insane, the view was gorgeous, and the company matched
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A reflective thank you note

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Overwhelmed.  In all the right ways. So, as I sit here, just 4 days away from getting to meet our Abriana Mireille I realized that once Friday hits things are most likely going to launch into warp speed and I may not get this golden opportunity to be a little reflective for the people that have gotten us to this point. Last night I was cruising around Facebook and saw a chain of posts.  A post of my blog from someone on my friends list, followed by a domino effect of posts of at least 3 other people not on my friends list sharing our story with their friends list and all of a sudden it hit me like a sack of bricks.  The depth of people out there thinking about us, or praying for us is so far beyond what I could have ever imagined and we'll probably never know just how many people have rallied in support for all we've been through and have yet to encounter ahead.  It's truly amazing, and my only regret is that there is not a proper string of words in any language capab
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Dental Floss Part 5 - The Faith Perspective

In Faith All Things Are Possible ------------------------------------ This is part 5 of my blog series on the road to having our child Introduction:  Right Here Part 1 can be found:  Right Here Part 2 can be found:  Right Here Part 3 can be found:  Right Here Part 4 can be found:  Right Here Part 5:  *YOU ARE HERE* ------------------------------------- So there's a major part to our story that I've not mentioned up until this point.  It wasn't for a lack of importance that it wasn't mentioned but rather a careful choice.  While our religious belief is a vitally important piece of our puzzle in navigating this situation I did not want our experiences this far to be written off by anyone who may not believe the same things we do.  However, I'd also be remiss if I did not mention the strength we've received through faith in this ordeal.  So the intention of this post is to highlight some of the key low points of this journey and how we allowed ourselve
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